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5 Unconventional Tips from Hilani’s Co-Founder on How to Manage Stress

5 Unconventional Tips from Hilani’s Co-Founder on How to Manage Stress

Being an entrepreneur is hard, regardless of how much you believe in what you’re doing. It feels cliche at this point when I hear people talk about how as long as you’re passionate about what you’re working on, you should be able to overcome anything. I know from experience that this is not always the case. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, sometimes you’re motivated, sometimes you’re not. Like everything in my life, there are ebbs and flows and I feel different day-to-day based on many different variables.

These are some of the things that work for me and have helped me along my journey of life to reduce stress and be the best I can in my relationships and business. This is not a perfect system, and changes based on where I’m at in my life. You should adapt it to where you’re at in your life as well.


1. Share

This is a big one for me, as I’m typically a pretty private person. I have a hard time asking for help and can tend to find myself thinking that my problems are solely my own and that I can’t ask for help. That’s why I’m writing this post… Because it’s uncomfortable to me. But I tend to find, over and over and over again, that the more I share about where I’m at and how I’m feeling with my friends, my family, my community, the better I feel. Often times, things that I feel will be a burden or a waste of time to share are often the things that get the best reception from who I am sharing with. Sometimes the things in life that stress us out the most are actually the things that can set us free from that same feeling. Keeping feelings inside is a sure way to take away space and leave you feeling stressed, anxious and tired. Feeling this way for too long will also lead to sickness and disease. So, when all else fails, SHARE! Even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s counterintuitive, but it works.


2. Reflect

 The way our world is set up today doesn’t offer much personal or alone time. I’ve found that for me to be able to function, feel clear and less stressed, I need a lot of time to myself to simply sit and think. Sometimes this time is used to be productive and write or work, but oftentimes, I simply need to do NOTHING, until I feel calm and ready to take action again. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world spend a majority of their time alone. A great resource that I’ve found that explains this is Brenda Ueland’s book,  If You Want to Write - A Book About Art, Independence, and Spirit.

3. Be Easy on Yourself

 You know the saying, “treat others the way you want to be treated?”. For me, it’s the exact opposite. I need to hear “Treat yourself the way you treat others”. I pride myself on doing my best to treat everyone I cross paths with the same, regardless of who they are. You could be the Queen of England or the janitor at a high school. To me, people are people. But oftentimes I find myself being harder on myself than I could ever imagine being on anyone else. I would never dream of telling people some of the things I tell myself that lead to me feeling stressed, unfulfilled and lacking. If you know how to be good to people, learn how to be good to yourself too. Take some time to think about it and you may be surprised how much harder you are on yourself than on other people. This mentality may be unconscious, but leads to nothing but 

holding yourself from your own potential. Be as easy on yourself as you are on others.

4. Get Clear on Your Story

 As humans, we are conditioned to compare ourselves to the people and the world around us. Social media definitely hasn’t helped on this front. Every day we spend hours and hours on social media peeking into the lives of people that we know and don’t know, but what we don’t take into consideration is that what we are being shown is 1. Only a snapshot of these people’s whole lives and 2. Decided by an artificial intelligence algorithm that only shows us what it thinks we would be interested in based on our past behaviors. This can leave you feeling confused about who we are, unfulfilled in your life, and feeling like you’re just not good enough.

Luckily, this is totally avoidable by recognizing that each of us truly is one-of-a-kind, and that your individual story and path is one that is walked by you, and you alone. We’ve all experienced difficulties and hardships. Getting clear on your own individual story is a result of steps 2 and 3 of this post. Once you take a good hard look at where you’ve been and start to appreciate and love everything about it, you will create the space to look towards your future and use everything that you’ve learned in life thus far to start creating the life you truly want. From there, the work to get it done is difficult, but simply having a clear idea of where you’ve been and finding a way to position that in a positive way is enough to reduce stress around the decisions you’ve made and pave a way to a positive future.


5. Maintain Your Integrity and Keep Your Word

 In my personal experience, the times when I feel my absolute worst are the times that I don’t do something that I said I was going to do. Whether thats plans with a friend or finishing work on a deadline I committed to, letting things slip through the cracks is the absolute worst. It leads to a spiral of similar behavior. I’m a big fan of the saying, and am constantly reminded of it by my fiancé Chelsey, “how you do one thing is how you do all things”. Letting one thing slip through the cracks leads to another thing slipping through the cracks, and as this goes on, the things in which are out of integrity in your life start to get bigger and bigger, until it feels like your life is out of control (even if it isn’t). There is nothing more stressful than feeling like there are things that you forgot, that people are disappointed in you for breaking your word, or that you’re incapable of getting anything done. Luckily, there is a solution to this:  communication. Nobody expects you to have a 100% success rate on everything you say you’re going to do. Almost every time, a little bit of communication goes a long way and creates the space to change a plan while maintaining your integrity. It’s only when we’re not communicating that your word and integrity start to become big issues.

So here you have it. 5 unconventional ways that I go about reducing stress in my life. They may not be perfect, but they are what works for me. A blend of all five of these things plus a generally healthy lifestyle, good food, and supplements likeHilani WAVE are a sure way to help you feel good about yourself and the world around you so that you can go about your life happily and fulfilled while making a positive impact.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you’ve adapted these or other tips into your life to help you reduce stress! Email me at